Feeling burned out and dealing with it

I made love to my wife yesterday. We were having great animal sex until we got tired and thirsty. Now that I look back, I realise that we were having sex for an hour or so, but I did not make her cum. Maybe it was not animal sex after all.

Lately I was feeling so lost and unhappy with my life that I started to think that I might be becoming depressed. Thankfully I somehow remembered and did some research on burning out. Articles and youtube videos were talking about this fenimenon that happends if you get stuck in a habbit of self loathing and being unhappy, being under a lot of pressure, etc. at work or at career related things.

It just so happens that my wife and I were traveling Eastern Asia for the last month. And then two more months abefore that we were just living a laid back life — we were both unemployed during that time. Having saved up some money for traveling and what not, our thinking was that we can spend that money and then easiliy look for work during our stay in Eastern Asia (I am a developer who has experience working remotely, so I thought that I can do that again).

Well, long story short — during the last two months: throughout the time we were traveling and even before that I had this tick in my head that I must find work soon or we will run out of money. I think that this negative thinking, which followed me everywhere, is the root cause of being grumpy and unhappy the whole time.

Oh, so getting back to what I wanted to say — this attitude of always feeling stressed because of career related worries apparently is common for men, and it is called a burn out.

According to what I learned so far it is really important to deal with that as soon as possible. Some things that help:

  • regular exercise — regular exercise allows the mind to rest and from the constant worrying;
  • reflecting back routinely — every evening (not necessarily “every” evening, but the more the better) look back to your day and identify three good things that you were able to accomplish. Focus on the positive things, and shove away the negative thoughts;
  • eating healthy — it might be hard for some, but personally I’ve been in both worlds — “eating shit every day” world, and “eating good things everyday” world. Indeed the later world feels much better when you want to focus on making good things happen in your life.

I wrote this short text mainly for myself, to pour out my negative thoughts, but if it helps you to get some insight, then it will make me more happy too 🙂

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Happy evening

After work today I had the energy to go to the gym! After a month or so of laziness – doing nothing – I went to my local gym and signed up again. After that, me and my buddy went to watch a football match. Real Madrid vs PSG 1-0 (I wasn’t expecting that). More to add, I felt that my libido levels were up to a two month (or so) high. I’m happy for that. I hope I’ll start dating again soon after.

The key is to stay awake and stop the fucking procrastination, which is enemy number one. Sadly, my city is not that high in wandering girls. But even though – I hope to start doing pick up nevertheless.

OK, I must go to sleep now, but before that, here are my three good doings of today:

  • I signed up for the gym again;
  • I went out with my buddy to a few local bars to have a beer, chat and watch football – this was very good;
  • I tidied up my home (at least it seems to me that I did). That doesn’t seem much, but for me – the person that I was for the last month or so – this is a big deal.

Vivid nights

My head is much clearer after 11 pm. At this time I start planning my future, start eating, start writing bogs, reading and so on. I must fix this somehow. I am thinking about shifting my sleeping habits. Maybe get up at 3 am? Or maybe have a nap after work… We’ll see.

Oh. Also three good things I did today:

  1. got up early for a jog.
  2. started doing this blogging/writing good things routine. (I’ll do this daily)
  3. read a book

Problem solving

  1. Perception – the way you actually perceive the events or happenings that occurred. You can interpret in various ways, but the right way is not to let these happenings hinder with your emotions, especially: anger, frustration, fear and other negative ones. Instead you should see these events as they really are: like facts, like “just things that have happened”.
  2. Actions – the actions you take according to the situation generated by your perception. There are right actions, and then there are impulsive, sloppy actions or actions based on emotion.
  3. Will – look at these things as the things, that you cannot control. You cannot control this, because there are things bigger than us. Therefor you must build your inner self.

Importing requests to Postman from Chrome Developer tools

For a while I was struggling replicating faulty requests while inspecting them in Chrome Developer tools.

Finally I’ve found a solution. This can be achieved by copying the request as cURL text and then importing the text in Postman as text.

  • Right-click on the request in the dev tools and select “Copy as cURL”;
  • Click import at the top of Postman;
  • Select the “Paste raw text” tab and paste in the cURL text from your clipboard;
  • Click Import.

And that’s that. Easy right?

Kiekvieną suknistą dieną aš sau pasakau, kad eisiu gulti anksčiau, kad nors kartą išsimiegočiau. Bet jau kelias savaites miegu vos po 6 val.

Bėda yra tame, kad grįžęs po darbo noriu šiek tiek atsipūsti nuo to pc, o tiksliau – bent trumpam pailsinti akis nuo ekranų. Tačiau nutinka taip: grįžtu namo, įsijungiu savo laptopą, žiūriu įvairius video (ar tai būtų serialai, ar tai mokomieji video, ar tai kitas š.), ir kai galų gale vėl atsiranda įkvėpimas kažką sukurti – jau būna atėjęs laikas eiti miegoti. Bet aš niekaip nenueinu miegoti! Gali būti kad išsekinu save ir jaučiu, kad truputį sirguliuoju.

Pradėjau vesti įvairius užrašus į Google Keep. Daugumoj tai būna kilusios idėjos ir gyvenimo moto. Pažiūrėsim kas iš to gausis.

Daugiau planuok ir veik biče

Kažkaip prigavau save pastaruoju metu betinginiaujantį ir nieko neveikiantį. Pastebėjau, kad jau kurį laiką veikiu prieš savo principus, kurių turiu sukaupęs jau nebe mažą repertuarą. Jaučiu, kad kas kart kai nusprendžiu pridėti dar vieną moto prie savo jau esamų nusistatymų – tuo pačiu užsimiršta kadaise pridėtas (FIFO).

Žodžiu, nusprendžiau, kad be tam tikrų priemonių leidžiančių planuoti laiką ir kaupti užrašus jau nebeapseisiu (niekad nemokėjau rašyti žodžio “apseiti”). Šiandien esu nusiteikęs netinginiauti. Nuvarysiu į akropolio Office1 ar kažkokią tai parduotuvę ir nusipirksiu tą kalendorių kurį galima pasikabinti ant šaldytuvo ir pildyti tušinuku.